Jameson: Chapter 2

I held you as you fell asleep tonight. It is your last night as a one year old. I tried to soak up all the things that make you so perfect. I never want to forget the sticky little boy hands, the sweaty little curls, and the way you hold my hand while you drift from this world to the land of dreams. 

I'll always be thankful for the way you happened. I love that when you came to us you were soft and peaceful. You were exactly what I didn't know I needed. The year you were born was so challenging. I cried myself to sleep the night you were born- from relief because you were here- from fear of the future- from worry about money- from hoping I would be a good enough mom to you and Jack. You were so gentle in how you joined our family. You brought a peace and an ease to my heart. You were the missing piece in my heart. 

All the mushy stuff aside- you're hilarious kid!You make me laugh all day. Your toothy little grin and the way you run around the singing, "happy, happy, happy" just melt my heart. You love your brother-like a lot. You also know how to irritate the heck out of him- you're such a little bro. 

In August you finally had tubes put in- at that point you started talking- and you haven't stopped yet. 

You're a daredevil. You're on the kitchen counter trying to make toast or jumping off the couch or climbing into the fort. You never stop until you fall asleep. 

You eat anything. Tomatoes off the vine, shrimp, mac and cheese- literally anything. And also you can't function in the morning until you've had your juice. 

I'm so happy we get to be together every day one on one. It's been so good for you to be alone when Jack is at school. You're little personality has really come alive.

Things I hope to always remember: your love of Daniel tiger, how much you love papa, the way you say "stop" and "Lu" and "mama". The deep love of all things motorized, the way you hug brother before school, how much you love horses  at grams, how you yell "Mimi", the fact that you like your toes painted, and the way you roar like a dinosaur.

I said all of that to say this-

Happy birthday Jamie boy.

I'll love you way past forever.

Momma

Jack is five!

They say it goes fast and it always surprises me when it does. I can't believe you've been mine to care for and teach for five whole years. I wouldn't trade any of that time for anything. The year of four has been a time of discovering your voice and opinions and convictions. The fourth year was up and down but mostly up. It was a full year of traveling, trying new things, loving old things, and being a big brother.

The past year you pushed your boundaries. You questioned everything and "tried" not to hear us. You tried (as most children do) to play us against each other sometimes and thankfully we learned and stopped it. This has been an important year for you to learn boundaries and for us as parents to grow as a team.

This past year has been so big for you! A few months ago you interrupted a Bible story and told me you wanted to ask Jesus into your life. I was so proud and thankful to have been there for you in that minute and to have been the one to teach you up to that time in your life.

We spent two weeks on a family trip. You loved every second on Marco Island. You loved exploring the little "sea creatures", building in the sand, and "only getting my toes wet in the sea".

You have become a fierce protector - of your brother, your momma, and anyone else you love.

You're a little environmentalist. If I had allowed it you would have gone to Standing Rock. You also love the trees and actually suggested standing in front of a forest to "stop the greedy people who ruin forests" (sorry, not sorry I've rubbed off on you). You caught your first fish (and put it back) and you grew your own vegetables in the garden with daddy.

We learned how to meditate. We learned how to stand in the sun and say thank you to the earth for letting us take part. You learned how to breathe deep and feel to earth beneath your feet.

You've learned to read small words. You spend time with Grams a few days a week learning your letters. You sounded out CAT a few weeks ago and I was so happy I think I embarrassed you.I love that Grams taught me to read and she is teaching you to read too. There's something really special about that.

I can't wait to see what the year of five brings to you. Together, we (daddy, you, and me) are building up the foundation for your whole life and I think it's turning out really beautiful. I love you so much it hurts. You make your daddy and me proud. You're a beautiful person. Happiest of birthday to you, my precious boy. I'll love you always.

I think Audrey sings it best. Moon River is the song I give to you for this year:

Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me.