Happy 4th Birthday Jameson

To my sweet Jamie boy,

I’m late. Again. And my favorite thing about you is that you will understand. You’re my baby boy and my middle kid and that makes you so much more understanding than the other two. I hate that I don’t always get to you right away. I work on it and work at making sure you feel loved and important but I’m pretty sure I drop the ball from time to time but you love me anyways. 

I love doing things with you. I love seeing you come fully alive when you’re being the center of attention. You are a funny kid and you know how to make me laugh. 

Since I was the oldest kid in my family I always assumed that the oldest was the natural caretaker. But you taught me something new- you like to take care of people too. You keep sister out of trouble and bring her back if she tries to run out of the yard. You always make sure that you get enough of whatever you are given to share with your siblings. You surprise me - and I think it’s important that you know - Jack made me a momma but you have made me a better momma and person. And I love you so much.

I love that you always want to be with us. I love that you love going to see your friends at day care. I love that you always put your Jamie spin on words- you add an “L” to basically every word. You call the people at daycare the “daycare guys”. You love peanut butter and making cheese-sticks have crazy hair. 

My favorite memory of you from this year was when the two of us were at the grocery store and I let you ride the penny ride- the little elephant one. It was perfect. Your smile was perfect and I made your whole day perfect just by paying attention to what you liked. I love that minute in our lives. 

You love your blue tiger, your baby dumbo, blue berry yogurt, fruit smoothies, comfy clothes, stories about your little friends, back scratches at bedtime, bath time and bath bombs, going to the library, going to grams and Mimi’s, and you love your family.

We are so lucky to have you. I always say you were everything we ever needed in a little brother and a best friend.

Thanks for picking our crazy family baby doll.

Love,

Momma 

Sweet Vivianne is 1!

Today is my baby’s first birthday. I write this for her but I share it with all of you for a very specific reason. I hope it inspires you all to write. Write to your children. Write to your significant other. Write to yourself. Just write.

My sweet little Vivianne,

I didn’t even know what I was missing until I met you. You’re the best parts of me, but even better. You’re a gentle soul. You’re sweet and you’re already scrappy. You’re my last baby and my best girl. Your existence completed mine.

I didn’t think I’d ever have a girl. I really didn’t. I absolutely loved our family before you and God decided that we were the right fit for you. Now I can’t even describe how much better we all are because of you.

Your brothers adore you- you keep them gentle. And you created a fierce protectiveness in them that I didn’t realize existed. One of your first words was “sister” - because you are their little “sister-girl” and they call to you all the time. They hug you, fight over you, sneak you into their room when they are supposed to be sleeping because they just want to spend a little bit more time with you.

You love your grandparents. Snacking with Grammy Hall, loving on Grams, pulling papas beard, and playing toys at Mimi’s.

Things I never want to forget: your soft little hands, your sweet smelling hair, and the way you run to me. Your love of vanilla yogurt and the little sounds you make while eating it. The way you melt into your daddy or me when we dance with you. The way you wake up in the morning (smack your lips, sigh contentedly, and smile). The way you stop everything when I ask if you want to nurse. Your sweet and clumsy little wave. The way you run to daddy when you’re sad. You’re the happiest baby I have ever seen. The crazy grin when you accomplish something new. And the funny little obsession you have with wearing aprons.

I can’t accurately explain how blessed and thankful I am that you chose me to be your momma.  Even though I didn’t expect to have you, I have had a lifetime of planning for us. I can’t wait to do everything together. When I found out you were on your way I immediately pictured us planning for proms, college, vacations, a wedding- the nurse laughed at me. But I was so excited I couldn’t stop!

I hope that you always know that I will always love you. There is nothing that can change that. I will always listen- to heartbreak and disappointments, to successes and plans and dreams. I am, and will always be, your biggest fan. May you see the world and have the ability to see beauty in even the ugliest of situations. May you understand that beauty is deeper than skin. May you know the value of the written word. May you know that love is more than a word. And may you know that you are enough.

Happy birthday sister girl.

I love you. Always.

-Momma

Jack is 7

Every year, since your birth, I have written you a letter. I write so that our emotions and memories will not be forgotten in the passing of days. I write to you so that the value of day-to-day life can be revisited and re-understood with fresh eyes as we both grow.  I write to you so you understand the value of the written word.

I always say that you have taught me how to be a momma. You teach me every day and I teach you too- how to write, how to read, how to add 1,000 + 75. I teach you how to understand your emotions, how to be a good person, and how to pick your dirty clothes up off the floor. The things that you teach me are so much more significant- how to be patient, how to stay curious, how to see things with new eyes, and how to meet others where they are. 

I’ve thought about it a lot and I think that, while you were born seven years ago, our souls have always been together. I think it’s like that- momma and baby, together from the beginning of time. 

I pray that this year is amazing for you. I pray that you continue to learn the importance of being kind, of standing up for yourself and others, and I pray that you understand and appreciate the value of exploring the world around us. The entire world- I hope you see it all. My goal in life is to raise kind, well read, and well traveled humans. 

You make me proud. Be happy. Know I will always have your back. I will always love you.

Happy birthday Baby.

Momma 💕

2,558. That’s the number of days you’ve been earth-side.