Vivi girl. Chapter 2.

 And just like that my baby is 2. 

There is so much I love about that fact that you’re my baby. You completely knocked us off balance and we are all so much better because of you. You’re our feral child, our “never met a stranger” child, and our favorite little girl child.

You have spunk. So. Much. Sass. You’re hilarious and sweet and you aren’t afraid to bite a fool if they cross you. You insist on always being dressed in a dress- not just any kind of dress because only pretty dresses will do the job. You love shopping on Amazon. Online shopping is one of your favorite pastimes- I get it, because I love it too. 

You’re always up for a trip to Starbucks (or “buckies” as you say). You want to do and go everything and everywhere with me. If I’m leaving you’re leaving. 

For a while you went by “Princess Maude” - a name that you love and we have no idea how you came up with it. 

You were potty trained- like all the way during quarantine but when I went back to work you refused to be potty trained anymore- I think you wanted to be the baby still. It’s okay, I know you’ll get there.

If we pass a McDonalds you loudly let me know you “need fwench fwies”. When you’re getting in trouble you let us know “I fine, daddy” it’s hilarious.

You’ve gone thru a rough patch and like to say, “shut up” and “stupid”. I get after you and you just say “l sorry momma” and then it’s all okay. You will yell at a us if we get after the boys- you love them fiercely. It reminds me of myself. 

You have gorgeous hair, beautiful blue eyes, and creamy white skin. You love having your nails painted. We sat in the bathroom floor and I painted your nails and toes and braided your hair. We sang the Frozen soundtrack. You were so happy you glowed. You loved that I knew the words. You hugged and kissed me and said you loved me a million times. It’s my favorite memory so far.

I love you so much it’s like my heart is outside of my body. I want everything for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to be fulfilled. I want you to be loved and know your worth. I want you to know you can always tell me anything and I’ll never judge you. I will always fight for you. You’re my girl, forever. You’re a dream I never expected to have come true.

I love you Vivianne. Always.

Momma 

Pax

Jack and I just finished one of the best books I’ve ever read. You all have enough time right now. Go buy “Pax”.
“It's a Buddhist concept. Nonduality. It's about oneness, about how things that seem to be separate are really connected to one another. There are no separations...This is not just a piece of wood. This is also the clouds that brought the rain that watered the tree, and the birds that nested in it and the squirrels that fed on its nuts. It is also the food my grandparents fed me that made me strong enough to cut the tree, and it's the steel in the axe I used. And it's how you know your fox, which allowed you to carve him yesterday. And it's the story you will tell your children when you give this to them. All these things are separate but also one, inseparable. Do you see?”
-Sara Pennypacker, Pax

It’s a kids book but literally a life changing and deep story.

My Jack is 8

I’m late. Like 2 months. But I finally wrote my birthday letter to Jack.
Jack. My sweet, frustrating, and lovable Jack. I can’t believe you are 8 years old. The last year you have grown so much! You are the most curious person I know. You love to learn about how things work and why.
You love to be with your people- I think that’s the thing I discovered most this year. Your love language is quality time. I never realized the huge impact a ten or twenty minute one-on-one section of time could have on a person. You need the interaction to feel loved and valued. I really love being able to do things with you. I love going to your class on Thursday mornings- getting to see you in a different light and watching how that part of your life affects you as a little person.

Some of my favorite memories from the last year...
•we visited the Henry Ford- you inspected the trains, you evaluated the inventions. It made me so happy to watch you learn.
•we climbed that huge hill/little mountain in the fairy glen on the isle of Skye. It was magic. We discovered our strength. We encouraged each other. And on that day you discovered that you liked adventure and risk- it’s honestly one of my very favorite and proudest memories. Of my entire life.
•you found out you love jumping off the diving board
•that time you took me into the corn field next to the house on Marlette Road. It was so exciting for you to have followed a “pod of quail” into the secret room.
•every post Malone song we love (and I pretend to not approve of).
•how we worked thru anxiety in the Dublin airport.
•every time you took the time to make sure vivi knows you love her.
•the rare (but increasing) moments when you and Jamie are very best friends.
•the way we have fallen in love with all books by Mac Barnett.
•you still call me “momma”
•the way we soberly read about grey’s death in the book Pax.
•the way you beg for “one more chapter”.
•the way you want me to still let you fall asleep in my bed on Saturday nights.
You make me want to be a better person. I want everything for you. I want you to know that no means no. I want you to know that you aren’t the center of the universe. I want you to know that kindness can’t be faked, money doesn’t buy taste, and you don’t need to be everyone’s friend. I want you to travel. I want you to care about the earth. I want you to respect others and to know your worth. Be kind. Be brave. Be vulnerable. Live a life you’re proud of and don’t ever stop dreaming.
Happy 8th birthday. I love you always.
Momma