I held you as you fell asleep tonight. It is your last night as a one year old. I tried to soak up all the things that make you so perfect. I never want to forget the sticky little boy hands, the sweaty little curls, and the way you hold my hand while you drift from this world to the land of dreams.
I'll always be thankful for the way you happened. I love that when you came to us you were soft and peaceful. You were exactly what I didn't know I needed. The year you were born was so challenging. I cried myself to sleep the night you were born- from relief because you were here- from fear of the future- from worry about money- from hoping I would be a good enough mom to you and Jack. You were so gentle in how you joined our family. You brought a peace and an ease to my heart. You were the missing piece in my heart.
All the mushy stuff aside- you're hilarious kid!You make me laugh all day. Your toothy little grin and the way you run around the singing, "happy, happy, happy" just melt my heart. You love your brother-like a lot. You also know how to irritate the heck out of him- you're such a little bro.
In August you finally had tubes put in- at that point you started talking- and you haven't stopped yet.
You're a daredevil. You're on the kitchen counter trying to make toast or jumping off the couch or climbing into the fort. You never stop until you fall asleep.
You eat anything. Tomatoes off the vine, shrimp, mac and cheese- literally anything. And also you can't function in the morning until you've had your juice.
I'm so happy we get to be together every day one on one. It's been so good for you to be alone when Jack is at school. You're little personality has really come alive.
Things I hope to always remember: your love of Daniel tiger, how much you love papa, the way you say "stop" and "Lu" and "mama". The deep love of all things motorized, the way you hug brother before school, how much you love horses at grams, how you yell "Mimi", the fact that you like your toes painted, and the way you roar like a dinosaur.
I said all of that to say this-
Happy birthday Jamie boy.
I'll love you way past forever.
Momma
